did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize