so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
