i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
