I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
