I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
