Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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