pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
that's an acceptable place to lick
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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