O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
