The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
