Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
