hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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