Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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