Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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