do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
