Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
