had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
