Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'