You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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