i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
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i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
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almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.