My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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