I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.