Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
