Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
