eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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