arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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