i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ugly people sure do ruin things
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize