Sober January is a disaster.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
