i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
