I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
