just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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