Yo dont text me then not text me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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