come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
