How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
