My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
