It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
