nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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