i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
farters have to be the big spoon...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
