woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
