that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
