wat bout pragnant strippers??
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
