farters have to be the big spoon...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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