i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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