I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
how can u be prego again
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
