I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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