wanna go halves on a baby?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
