..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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