Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
someone threw a dead crab at me
She said her name was "party"
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
