We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
