GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
