He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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