I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
