You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
how drunk are you?
Several
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
