i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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