At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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