Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
