I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
