I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
