Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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