I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
is wine microwaveable?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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