Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."

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  (503): You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin." http://tfl.nu/0mfk
  Replies (13) Good night (2714) Bad night (764)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa

  (404): View more from Georgia

  sure if you go to prison

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  (813): i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa (404): sure if you go to prison http://tfl.nu/yad5
  Replies (24) Good night (987) Bad night (2887)
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  (415): View more from California

  no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner

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  (415): no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner http://tfl.nu/9h98
  Replies (27) Good night (4287) Bad night (1150)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores

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  (304): nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores http://tfl.nu/a1sm
  Replies (12) Good night (3738) Bad night (535)
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  (518): View more from New York

  when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'

  (1-518): View more from New York

  i pity the fetus.

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  (518): when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations' (1-518): i pity the fetus. http://tfl.nu/r9cp
  Replies (29) Good night (764) Bad night (5414)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks

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  (314): 96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks http://tfl.nu/s1i2
  Replies (12) Good night (4909) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.

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  (513): I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen. http://tfl.nu/9jnz
  Replies (19) Good night (5339) Bad night (1030)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.

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  (309): I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard. http://tfl.nu/r907
  Replies (4) Good night (2925) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys

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  (860): We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys http://tfl.nu/i7wv
  Replies (2) Good night (2340) Bad night (1320)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?

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  (860): Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night? http://tfl.nu/99ew
  Replies (4) Good night (716) Bad night (1420)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples

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  (401): Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples http://tfl.nu/s1gx
  Replies (2) Good night (1540) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds

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  (603): a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/ayni
  Replies (16) Good night (1268) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Do I really need this much space in my mouth?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Are you already high?

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  (262): Do I really need this much space in my mouth? (414): Are you already high? http://tfl.nu/waj8
  Replies (10) Good night (1371) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.

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  (252): A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place. http://tfl.nu/7ilw
  Replies (4) Good night (1148) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.

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  (831): my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate. http://tfl.nu/8t7a
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (339)

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