Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.