K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
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If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
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Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...