My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so let's talk penis.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind