Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.

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  (425): It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back. http://tfl.nu/2rvp
  Replies (24) Good night (7304) Bad night (861)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?

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  (978): is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl? http://tfl.nu/dwko
  Replies (47) Good night (5661) Bad night (932)
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  (831): View more from California

  I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.

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  (831): I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures. http://tfl.nu/n0ak
  Replies (3) Good night (3564) Bad night (625)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.

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  (813): So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one. http://tfl.nu/vysc
  Replies (8) Good night (3799) Bad night (2385)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?

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  (914): Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave? http://tfl.nu/fkd9
  Replies (14) Good night (3608) Bad night (1321)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math

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  (520): She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math http://tfl.nu/3rkm
  Replies (9) Good night (2527) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob

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  (406): you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob http://tfl.nu/ha8t
  Replies (9) Good night (2990) Bad night (1001)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.

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  (845): Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent. http://tfl.nu/xb5q
  Replies (5) Good night (2252) Bad night (647)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.

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  (903): So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition. http://tfl.nu/0um3
  Replies (5) Good night (1997) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."

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  (623): Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN." http://tfl.nu/7rib
  Replies (13) Good night (3109) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5

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  (310): Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5 http://tfl.nu/knlc
  Replies (2) Good night (1380) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...

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  (970): Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out... http://tfl.nu/zr6z
  Replies (3) Good night (970) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.

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  (661): Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex. http://tfl.nu/usxr
  Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER

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  (715): THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER http://tfl.nu/jvi1
  Replies (1) Good night (758) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.

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  (443): Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week. (410): Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you. http://tfl.nu/4f2r
  Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (356)

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