he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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