Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles http://tfl.nu/o4hh
  Replies (16) Good night (759) Bad night (1483)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough. http://tfl.nu/u5ru
  Replies (26) Good night (697) Bad night (4092)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby. http://tfl.nu/to2g
  Replies (49) Good night (4178) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him. http://tfl.nu/wgyi
  Replies (25) Good night (6706) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver http://tfl.nu/1ssj
  Replies (10) Good night (2155) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio. http://tfl.nu/i0fo
  Replies (6) Good night (2184) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms http://tfl.nu/pddu
  Replies (6) Good night (2905) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend. http://tfl.nu/du0y
  Replies (7) Good night (3090) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles http://tfl.nu/okmw
  Replies (4) Good night (1498) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me? http://tfl.nu/wm16
  Replies (27) Good night (640) Bad night (2994)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house. http://tfl.nu/210e
  Replies (4) Good night (1046) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have. http://tfl.nu/oqu8
  Replies (7) Good night (506) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross. http://tfl.nu/mx32
  Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  40s are totally the cure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): 40s are totally the cure http://tfl.nu/vifb
  Replies (2) Good night (247) Bad night (177)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy. http://tfl.nu/fsqc
  Replies (0) Good night (606) Bad night (207)

Randomize