Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
