Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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