One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
