i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
