On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
