Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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