the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I love you.
Bad choice
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